


Clarity

by SpecialWings



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Confessions, Crush, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, first love perhaps, high school romance perhaps
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-26
Updated: 2018-07-26
Packaged: 2019-06-16 18:03:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15442767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpecialWings/pseuds/SpecialWings
Summary: Seungkwan wasn't oblivious he knew when his feelings are returned. The signs were adding up especially with the confession happened-was that a confession? What he didn't understand was why Mingyu still act like he didn't do it last night.Inspired by Bolbbalgan4 -Tell me you love me





	Clarity

**Author's Note:**

> My attempt to end the drought in gyuboo nations.  
> Why the tag so dry even after all those interactions? :"

Seungkwan was inside a library trying to finish his paper. He had been there for almost 3 hours. He finally decided to stop for the day. He only needed around 500 words to finish the paper. He could do that at home. Seungkwan stretched out his hand and did light stretching.  He gathered his belongings and put them inside his bags. He was thinking to get a cup of tea to refresh himself as he made his way to the library’s exit.

A smile bloomed up on his face when he saw a familiar face that made his heart beat faster. He decided to say hello especially thinking about what happened recently. Just when he thought of calling the person’s name, the other person looked up, their eyes met. Seungkwan waved his hand and smiled, he mouthed a soft “Hi” as they were inside a library. However, instead of replied the greeting the subject of his affection avoided his eyes and went back to the book that he was reading. Seungkwan already expected it, but he still felt disappointed. Seungkwan put down his raised hand lifelessly and let out a sigh. Of course, they were in public and there were other people that know both of them. After all his subject of affection was one of the most handsome and popular boy in his school.

Kim Mingyu was one of the most popular and handsome boy in Seungkwan’s school. He was loved by everyone and had a lot of friends. He was kind and friendly to everyone, except Seungkwan. He always acted cold toward Seungkwan even though they almost met each other everyday as they took the same bus every morning to school. He didn’t even accept Seungkwan’s greetings on the bus. Their house just few blocks away from each other and their schedules seemed to match often. They often accidentally met on the way back home or in stores in the neighborhood. They even had a group project together once. However, Mingyu acted cold toward Seungkwan.

Really expecting something just put Seungkwan down again. Seungkwan huffed in annoyance. After all the event that happened last night just built up his expectation. He was pouting all the way to the café where he was sure one of his best friends was there.

Seungkwan opened the door of the cafe and immediately heard soft acoustic music playing. There were only few tables left empty. He then looked around the cafe and just like he predicted, he found one of his friends there. However, instead of going there directly, he went to the counter to order first. He ordered his favourite ice tea, smiled up to the cashier, waited up for his order, and thanked the barista before he finally  plumped down on the chair in front of his friends, startling his friend who had his focus on the laptop screen.

“Ya! Boo Seungkwan! You startled me!”

Seungkwan instead of replying just let out a big sigh and sipped his tea. After a long sip, he then decided to greet his friend.

“Hi hyung! Fancy to see you here, finally decided to go out from your cave?”

“I had a meeting with Seokmin here, you just missed him by few minutes.” The jabs on the homebody personality went ignored.

“Ah, Seokmin hyung was here? Nice of you to go out of your way and meet him outside your apartment.”

The replies were a shrug and, “Free foods. I wouldn’t say no to free foods.” The jabs went ignored again, because that was true and there was no need to deny or be insulted of something that was already accepted by him.

“Ah nice of Seokmin hyung to treat you foods.” Seungkwan replied.

The older but shorter raised his eyebrow, “what made you so bitchy today, Seungkwan?”

Seungkwan let out a sigh, and dropped his head to the table with one cheek pressed on the table as he looked on his cup of tea. “Jihoon hyung~” He whined instead. The said hyung just kept silent, waiting for the younger to continue.

“How.. urm.. how to make someone who clearly interested in you but afraid of what others say become braver in admitting their feelings and show affections especially in public?” After those words went out from his mouth, Seungkwan seemed to regret it. He did not want to talk these things with any of his friends, he did not trust his friend to keep a secret.

“Urm.. what?”

“Nevermind, hyung.” Seungkwan’s arms went up to the table to cushion his head and he burrowed his head on his arms.

“Is this about your crush on Mingyu?” Jihoon said before he exclaimed in surprise and disbelief, “Wait, you think he also has crush on you? That Mingyu who clearly acts cold toward you, who doesn’t really acknowledge your presence, and your conversations with him only when you fights over nonsensical things. The Mingyu that always surrounded by tall and pretty girls and also hangs out with the popular guys.”

Seungkwan groaned. “Ugh, you don’t know anything, hyung,” mumbled Seungkwan but Jihoon still could heard him.

“And do tell me what I missed out? What progress did you make?” Jihoon asked but met with silence. After few seconds that felt like minutes being ignored, he decided to change his approach.

“Did he greet you? Talk to you without fighting? Act warmly toward you? Confess to you? Ask you on date?” Jihoon decided to attack him with more specific questions. He knew that Seungkwan like to talk and he would cave in soon. Just like his prediction, Seungkwan held up his head from his arm, looked at Jihoon, and opened his mouth.

“Last night,” Seungkwan started, then paused, seemed to reconsider telling his hyung. “Ugh nevermind hyung, forget I say anything.” He then abruptly stood up, took his tea and bag, then went out of the café, leaving Jihoon baffled and annoyed.

“YA! BOO SEUNGKWAN! How dare of you leaving your hyung hanging like this?!” Jihoon shouted angrily.

 Seungkwan fastened his pace. He almost spilled everything to his hyung, but he didn’t want to say everything out loud. He was afraid of the response. He was afraid to hear something he wasn’t ready for. He feared that after hearing the full story, his hyung would not believe his words and instead say everything was only in his mind, that he was deluded, or that he was trying to perceive and connect things out of small irrelevant things. Seungkwan was afraid that his assumptions were wrong when he was really sure of them.

Seungkwan was sure that his crush was not one-sided. The signs were there. Seungkwan knew where to look. He wasn’t that oblivious and he knew when someone had a crush on him. He didn’t make baseless assumptions. Mingyu did act cold toward him and only to him. The taller boy acted warm and affectionate to others, both male and female, except to him. He always ignored Seungkwan’s greetings and didn’t acknowledge Seungkwan’s presence unless it was really necessary. Mingyu seemed did not know how to act in front of his crush, or that’s what Seungkwan thought. The fights they had were mostly harmless and only when Mingyu were forced to interact with Seungkwan in front of his friends. Seungkwan suspected that it was only Mingyu trying to put up a front. Seungkwan also realized the taller boy often stole glances toward him. However, the event last night was the certain and most obvious sign that further cemented Seungkwan’s thoughts on their mutual feelings.

Seungkwan still remembered clearly the event that unfolded last night. He was going back from a convenience store and accidentally stumbled upon Kim Mingyu, though Seungkwan suspected that it wasn’t really accidental. Mingyu startled him when he was about to turn left on the corner of the street near the park, two blocks away from his house. It was awkward and Seungkwan could feel the tension. They stared at each other for few awkward seconds before finally Seungkwan decided to do his greeting and walk away. However, when he started to walk away, he was stopped by Mingyu’s voice that called his name.

“Seungkwan, wait.” The call of his name froze Seungkwan in place. Seungkwan looked at Mingyu, waiting for Mingyu to continue or do something. Instead of saying something, Mingyu seemed to fidgets in place. He took notice of how Mingyu seemed more nervous than usual and that he didn’t really ignore Seungkwan as usual. He knew it was already late and no one else around them. The street was deserted. There were only the two of them under the light of the street lamp. The lighting from the street lamp gave a yellow hues, giving an ethereal soft glow on them. Mingyu looked handsome under the pretty lights. Little did he know that the older boy thought along the same line.

Mingyu looked at his feet and shifted around, stole a glance at Seungkwan, and looked down.  He felt nervous and shy. Seungkwan was ethereally beautiful under the lights. His blond hair seemed to shine with the lights. Seungkwan then tilted his head cutely, with a soft question of “um.. yeah?” and smiled hesitantly, trying to lessen the awkwardness between them. The smile shot straight to Mingyu’s heart. It was soft and seemed to brighten Mingyu’s day. The younger boy looks so soft and adorable. Mingyu just wanted to poke Seungkwan’s cheek playfully and hug the younger boy tightly. Unfortunately, Mingyu was bad at expressing himself in front of his crush. He was a nervous wreck in front of the younger one. His actions often went against what he intended. In addition, Mingyu was quite sensitive of his image and other people’s opinion toward him. He had a reputation to uphold. However he had gathered his courage to do something about his crush, he was afraid that he would regret it otherwise.

Mingyu took a deep breath. He could do this. Mingyu was a determined man, he could put into actions what he had planned. He then stared straight at Seungkwan and smiled awkwardly. He finally took out something from his jacket’s pocket, shoved it into Seungkwan’s hand, and held the younger’s hands as he took another deep breath, trying to calming himself.

“I like you,” Mingyu said and then leaving abruptly without waiting for Seungkwan’s response. Meanwhile Seungkwan who was left alone with a suspicious box in his hand, could only blink in surprise and stared at Mingyu’s back that was getting further away from him.

Seungkwan looked at the direction where Mingyu went off, to the box in his hand, blinked his eyes, and then repeat the same actions for few minutes. He just needed to process this. Did Kim Mingyu, his crush, just say he likes him and gift him a present? Seungkwan thought his ears were playing him, but the existence of the box in his hand could serve as the proof, right? A smile bloomed onto his face.

Seungkwan decided to open the box. His smile widened. His suspicions were right. Kim Mingyu indeed liked him back. He was not in one-sided love. Kim Mingyu cared about him and took notice of him. Inside the box was a bracelet that looked familiar. Seungkwan remembered he had mentioned twice about wanting it. The first one was when Mingyu and Seungkwan were doing group assignment. Seungkwan was scrolling through his phone and found that bracelet and nonchalantly said he wanted one. The second one was in the canteen, he said it to Soonyoung while walking toward the counter. Seungkwan just showed it again to Soonyoung because he could not stopped thinking about the bracelet. He needed to get the opinions of his friends whether to get it or not. He noticed from the corner of his eyes that they passed Mingyu’s table.

Seungkwan could feel his heart getting fuller and warmer. He let out a soft chuckle.

‘Does this mean I can text him everyday now? Does this mean I can finally show my affections openly to him?’ Seungkwan thought to himself. That night he was sleeping with his phone in his hand, waiting for the phone to rings, but the call and the messages he waited for never came.

However, that was last night. In the morning, Seungkwan excitedly went to school. He already imagined that today in the bus during the trip to school he would finally sit beside Mingyu and his greeting would not be ignored. Unfortunately his imaginations were shattered as the reality was different. Seungkwan saw Mingyu who sat in his usual seat, two rows from the back near the window. He said his hello with a wide smile but it was ignored. Seungkwan suddenly felt nervous but he gulped down his nervousness and gathered his courage to try to sit beside Mingyu. When Seungkwan finally sat beside Mingyu he could see Mingyu tensed up visibly and the older looked to the window instead of acknowledging him.

Once again, Seungkwan said his greeting. Only silence was his response. It was very awkward for the two of them. Few minutes passed before Seungkwan decided to break the silence. He needed to make sure of the event last night really happened and the older remembered it.

“Hey, Mingyu, um..” Seungkwan didn’t know how to start the conversation. “Um.. regarding last night.. um.. I like you too,” Seungkwan said softly. He could feel the boy beside him gotten stiffer. Seungkwan took a peek at the older’s side profile and he was pretty sure that Mingyu’s ear gotten red. But still no verbal response. Seungkwan fingers reached toward Mingyu’s sleeves but the older flinched and took his arm away from the younger. It wounded Seungkwan. He knew they were in public and many of their school friends also took this bus, but didn’t he remember last night.

“But do you remember last night?” Still no response. Mingyu still acted coldly toward him.

“You told me you like me. Remember? Under the pretty street light, you told me you like me” Mingyu took a glance at Seungkwan and acted like he didn’t remember anything. He shook his head. Seungkwan huffed upsetly.

“Even if you pretend that you don’t remember or that you don’t like me, you have to know that you clearly said you like me last night. I thought it was a dream too, but here,” Seungkwan showed his wrist to Mingyu, “you got me this bracelet. So what does this mean?” The taller boy just froze in his seat.

“Do you like me?” Seungkwan asked directly. He got tired of this uncertainty. But the freaking Kim Mingyu seemed to not have mouth today. Seungkwan’s question just met with another silence.

“If you like me, just say yes, you’ll be my boyfriend and I also will be your boyfriend.” Seungkwan huffed again. Mingyu finally turned toward him and seemed to be considering his options. Mingyu seemed to finally have an answer. However, their (one-sided) conversation was interrupted before Seungkwan able to get the answer he deserved.

“Ah, good morning Mingyu and Seungkwan,” A tall pretty girl just got in to the bus and saw them. She was one of their classmates and Seungkwan knew her as one of the girls that usually hang around Mingyu. She greeted them with a warm smile.

“Good morning, Chaeyeon.” Mingyu greeted back with the same smile on his face. Seungkwan also said his greeting but then he muttered under his breath, “So he does have a mouth but didn’t want to use it to me.”

Chaeyeon sat in the one-seater in front of them, and sat half-turned to them. Then she and Mingyu continued to converse happily, talking about topics that Seungkwan could not relate thus ignoring Seungkwan completely until they arrived at the school.

The event in the bus combined with the event in library made Seungkwan felt insecure and upset. He understood that the taller boy was very attractive and well-known while Seungkwan himself was only an ordinary boy. Their circle of friends also differed. He hang out around popular boys and pretty girls. Meanwhile Seungkwan was a self-proclaimed music nerd that often have fun with his friends in class talking about music and school works. Seungkwan could make everyone laugh once in a while but just that, people didn’t really flock around him. He knew a lot of people also had crush on Mingyu. He was just one of them. However, Seungkwan was pretty sure that Mingyu liked him back but was afraid of social pressure. Like how Mingyu supposed to date another popular girl that surrounded him. Mingyu felt the need to uphold certain image of being unattainable male until the end of school or becoming the most matching couple or couple goals or something like that if he finally dated. For the school’s public, Seungkwan was not in the picture to be one of Mingyu’s lover candidates. Moreover, their society was still homophobic. Seungkwan understood these and he accepted it to some extent. After all he didn’t want to suffer from narrow-minded people in school who could say viscous words that pierce like bullets. What Seungkwan didn’t get was that after finally telling him their feelings were mutual, the older had the guts to act like he didn’t remember and still ignoring his greetings. It was just a freaking ‘hi’ for god’s sake. Not once but twice he was ignored today.

Seungkwan was feeling so upset and clueless what to do, he needed someone to tell him what to do, and that was why he almost spilled everything to Jihoon. After all he always kept everything to himself. He never said his suspicions to his friends before thus he could not expect his friends to understand. He was afraid that his friend would tease him instead.

Seungkwan touched the bracelet on his wrist, trying to convince himself that what he experienced last night was not a figment of his imagination. Seungkwan decided to walk around a little bit to clear out his mind. A walk would help him to calm down and regained his focus. It was Friday night, there would be no school tomorrow. He could afford to get home a little bit late today.

Too bad for Seungkwan, just like any cliché story where you didn’t get what you wanted and things just kept getting worse that things happened to Seungkwan. He just bought some snacks to enjoy while walking when he heard a familiar laugh that always made butterflies fluttered around in his stomach. His ears perked up and he immediately looked for the source of the sounds. His eyes roamed around and fell on a tall boy surrounded by tall pretty girls and some boys. They were laughing over something that the tall boy’s said.

“What? You don’t believe me? I can easily win over Minghao on arcade games?” said the tall boy. There was a scoff and another laugh.

“I’m also good at crane games. Just tell me which dolls you girls want to get, I’ll get it for you.” Mingyu boasted with a grin.

Seungkwan could see the girls blushed, while the other boys scoffed. A girl playfully slapped Mingyu’s arm for his playful flirting.

“Whatever you say Gyu, We almost there, so let’s us judge for ourselves,”  Minghao said as he rolled his eyes.

Seungkwan weighed his options whether to follow them in or not. His rational mind asked him to just go home to spare him from the hurts while his irrational mind asked him to follow them to satisfy his curiosity. Of course, his irrational side won.

Seungkwan hid himself from them by getting back to the stores he just exited from and waited until they went passed him and went into the arcade next door. When he finally followed them inside he came into the picture of one girl clinging to Mingyu’s sleeves while the tall boy was focusing on getting a certain doll from the machine. Mingyu did succeed, and both of them looked at each other and smiled. Ugh, what did Seungkwan’s irrational mind expect? Of course, the charming guy would charm all the girls.

“Me! Me! Next is me!” said another girl from Mingyu’s left, “I want the dolphin one! Please get it for me,” she said it cutely, her pitch gone a little bit higher.

Mingyu grinned and said, “Just leave it to me, I’m great at this.”

“Stop boasting Gyu,” scoffed Minghao, “when you are done boasting, join us in the shooting games, those will be the real fight.” He said then left Mingyu with the girls.

“Yes, yes, just go away and play with Wonwoo hyung and Seungcheol hyung first. I’ll got there soon. After I get all the ladies those dolls, I already promised and a gentleman never break his promise.”

Seungkwan scoffed from his place hearing that, “A gentleman he said?”

Seungkwan could understand these behaviors before Mingyu confessed to him. He could accept his flirty behaviors to other girls, his warm affectionate behaviors toward others except him. He could accept that Mingyu act awkward only in front of him, his crush. He could understand if Mingyu was bad at expressing himself. Sometime Seungkwan just didn’t understand Mingyu’s mind. Why did he act like this?

What he couldn’t understand was then what Mingyu expected from confessing. Why did he give him a bracelet? What did he mean by confessing then acted like it didn’t matter? Because it mattered a lot to Seungkwan. He also wanted to talk to Mingyu, his confession seemed like a green light to act casually and friendly toward him, but Mingyu just proved him wrong. He gave him hope to just crush it. It was actually hurt Seungkwan deeply. It was like he was being played. This vague relationship would hurt more in the long time. Seungkwan needed to make it clear. Now that he knew their feelings were mutual, Seungkwan needed to know where Mingyu wanted to bring their relationship to. Would they be together, would they make it officials, would they try to hide it, would Mingyu just wanted to confess and did nothing more? Seungkwan didn’t want to be hold at the end of the rope without any clarity.

Seungkwan was sure of his wants. Their feelings were mutual, so why couldn’t they be together? He was fine with hiding their relationship. He could handle not showing off his relationship with the popular boy. What he couldn’t handle was the boy acting like he didn’t like him and like he didn’t freaking confessed his feeling last night. Now that boy had the guts to flirt with other girls while he ignored his greetings. Once again, let me emphasize it, it was just a freaking greeting.

“Ah, Seungkwan? You are Seungkwan, right?” Seungkwan was startled from his thought when someone called his name.

“Ah, Seungcheol sunbaenim? Long time no see,” Seungkwan gave a little bow. Seungcheol was an alumnus from their school. He knew him for Seungkwan had helped him for some of his music project. He was also one of the popular guys and close friends of Mingyu. Seungkwan bet he was there to meet Mingyu and his friends.

“What are you doing here? Wait, nevermind that’s stupid question. Are you alone? Why are you just standing there and not playing anything here?” asked the older boy.

“Um.. yes… I’m alone..  I.. I try to kill times before going home and umm… I haven’t found the game I want to play yet?” Oops Seungkwan just said it as a question instead of an answer. He was startled and wasn’t ready to converse with someone he knew.

“Oh I’m with Mingyu, Wonwoo, and the others. I’m just about to meet them, you know, catching up and destressing. Do you want to join us?” Seungcheol said with his gummy grin.

Seungkwan panicked. He didn’t want to meet the others. It would be very awkward with Mingyu trying to ignore him. He tried to think fast, looking for a way out.

“Ah, sunbaenim, I think I found the game I want to play,” Seungkwan pointed at the game machine on his right side, “feel free to go to others hyung. Have fun”

Seungcheol followed Seungkwan’s fingers and saw a race game. His eyes lit up.

“Oh, are you any good with it?”

“Uh?” Seungkwan got confused.

“The race game. Are you good with speed?”

“Ah, I don’t know,” Seungkwan shrugged.

“Then you’re about to find out. The loser pay for the next game.” Seungcheol grabbed Seungkwan’s wrist and dragged him.

“What?” Before Seungkwan could process it, he was already sitting inside the booth. It seemed he could not run away. Seungkwan decided to accept his fate and just try to win the race. He was a competitive person, and it would do his ego well if he could win against Seungcheol.

Lady luck was with him in this game. He won by a millisecond.

“YES!” Seungkwan shouted in joy without he realized it. A wide smile bloomed on his face.

“Uwaa, you seems really good at this Seungkwan. I acknowledge my lost,” Seungcheol said with a grin. If Seungcheol let go of the gas pedal instead of stepped on it nearing the finish line, no one would know except him. Seungkwan didn’t need to know.

“It’s just beginner’s luck, sunbaenim, and I think you go easy on me.” Seungkwan said humbly.

“But still you win and a promise is a promise. I’ll pay for the next game. What do you want to play? Another race?”

Before Seungkwan could answer, a phone call interrupted them.

“Hello?” Seungcheol picked up the phone. “Eoh, I’m here already. Um, I’m at the race section. Oops sorry, I met Seungkwannie and we had a race hehe, sorry I can’t hold back myself… Um what? Yes, I’m with Seungkwan, you know him right? Yup, that’s Boo Seungkwan. Okay, I’ll wait, see you.”

Seungkwan was quietly listening to Seungcheol answering the phone call.

“One more round?” asked Seungcheol with a grin. “I won’t go easy with you this time.”

“Oh, so you did go easy on me, sunbaenim” Seungkwan said with a mock hurt tone. “Just so you know sunbaenim, I did go easy on you too. Just look I’ll win again.” This time Seungkwan said with confidence. After the first game, he was warmed with the idea to play with Seungcheol.

Seungkwan decided to go serious from the start and really focused on the game. He didn’t want to think of the possibility that Mingyu would see him there. He had a race to win, and win he should.

Whereas the previous race was on circuit, this round they decided on street race. They agreed to raise the difficulty. There would be more obstacles like red lights and other cars passing by. They needed to avoid those obstacles. Seungkwan would show the skill he gained after all those hours he spent playing against Seokmin and Soonyoung.

It was a tight match. They kept changing places as the first and second place. Now, they were on the last lap. Seungkwan was on the second place. There would be a last corner before the finish lane in front, it would be his best chance to take over the first place. Seungkwan stepped harder on the gas pedal, and his grip on the wheel went tighter. He concentrated on the road and calculated his way so that he could take over before the finish lane.

Few seconds of intense concentration and silence before finally it was broken by a shout of “YEAH!!”

“Uwah, really, you are great at this, I don’t lie, Great Job Seungkwannie.” Seungkwan noticed the cute way his senior said of his name. He wasn’t disturbed with it, he accepted any kind of affection he could get from others.

“Thank you sunbaenim. I told you I’ll win again,” Seungkwan grinned.

“Ah just call me with hyung. You can go on par with me on this game, you can call me hyung. Ah why don’t we hang out sooner? Too bad that I just went to you for that music project we had. Oh we should go to a karaoke together soon, you have a nice voice if I remember clearly.”

Seungkwan blushed with the compliments. He could feel his face got hotter with all the compliments. “Ah, thank you sunba- ah, hyung,” Seungkwan hastily changed his words after seeing the playful glare from his senior.

“Ah, do our Seungkwannie feel shy with the compliments? Ujujuju, you look so adorable,” Seungcheol grinned and reached out to pinch Seungkwan’s cheek.

“Yah! Hyung!” Seungkwan shouted feeling embarrassed.

Instead of stopping, Seungcheol just changed his target and now aimed for Seungkwan’s fluffy hair. He ruffled the younger boy’s hair.

Their moments were interrupted as someone exclaimed, “Seunghcheol hyung! I’ve been looking for you, we’ve been waiting for you.”

Both of them turned to look at the newcomer. Seungcheol raised his eyebrow and said, “I told you I’ll wait here, it’s just your fault that you cannot even find where the race section is.”

Meanwhile Seungkwan just waited for his presence to be acknowledged by the newcomer.

“Huft. You don’t know how embarrassed I felt when I accidentally interrupted a couple in another racing booth, thinking it was you. It wasn’t my fault that there were several others racing game here. You didn’t specify which one.”

Hearing the reply, Seungcheol laughed. “But you just also interrupted our moments right now, right Seungkwannie?” Seungcheol decided to continue tease both of his juniors.

The newcomer finally looked at Seungkwan and smiled at him. However, Seugkwan realized that the smile was tight and seemed forced. Seungkwan was about to agree to Seungcheol’s remark when the newcomer’s talked again.

“Ah, hey there Seungkwan. Fancy seeing you here,” Seungkwan was about to reply but once again he was cut off, “Seungcheol hyung, the others have been waiting for so long. How dare of you to play without inviting us. Let’s go meet them. Oh there are also Jihyo, Na Young, and Hye Rin they are really excited to meet you.”

Seungcheol chuckled in reply. He then looked at Seungkwan, “Do you want to join us Seungkwannie?”

Seungkwan thought it would be very awkward joining them and he was tired with Mingyu’s action with him therefore he refused.

“No thank you, hyung. I don’t want to intrude.” Seungkwan refused the offer politely.

“But you won’t intrude, right Mingyu?”

“Umm.. ” Mingyu who was surprised with the sudden question from Seungcheol just could hummed with no clear intention.

“Look even Mingyu said it’s okay. I still need your ass for that race. I want to see your skills on other games,” persuaded Seungcheol.

“Sorry hyung, but I think it’s time for me to go home, I still need to buy groceries. Thank you for the offer though, and I really had fun with you,” Seungkwan smiled to Seungcheol and at the same time from the corner of his eyes he was trying to see Mingyu’s expression. Mingyu acted like he didn’t want to look at Seungkwan.

“Then promise me to play again next time or I won’t let you go home,” Seungcheol just like a child offered his pinkie finger to Seungkwan.

Seungkwan who couldn’t reject his senior then hooked his pinkie finger, sealing their promise.

“Hyung, let’s go we already make them wait so long. They must wonder where we are.” Mingyu said, once again interrupting their moments. Hearing Mingyu seemed so eager to get away from Seungkwan, made Seungkwan’s blood boiled. Seriously what was his problem? He didn’t want to talk with Seungkwan and didn’t even let his friend to talk with him. Seungkwan decided that enough was enough. He needed to take action.

“Ah, Seungcheol hyung, sorry but can I borrow Mingyu for a moment?” Seungkwan asked, surprising both the older guys.

“Me?” asked Mingyu surprised.

“Um, I just wanted to talk about some class project,” Seungkwan lied.

“Sure, I’ll let the others know. I’m going first, okay?” Seungcheol said and stood up from the booth. “Remember the promise okay? I’ll ask you on it,” He ruffled Seungkwan’s hair one last time before walking away, leaving the two boys.

The situation didn’t let Mingyu ran away, moreove,r he could feel the icy glare Seungkwan gave.

“Now, Kim Mingyu, follow me and let’s talk, I know you won’t talk here because there are many people,” Seungkwan said coldly as he stood up and walked away from the game center. Mingyu gulped and followed the younger boy. He didn’t dare to walk beside the younger and just walked few steps behind

After five minutes walking, they walked into a deserted park. Seungkwan finally turned to face Mingyu.

“Now we talk,” started Seungkwan, “Do you like me? In a romantic way?” Seungkwan asked straight to the point, making Mingyu flustered.

“If you like me just say yes. Then like I told you this morning, I can be your boyfriend and you’ll be mine. You said it last night, I just wanted to confirm it.”

Instead of answering, Mingyu just froze in place, seemed panicking and thinking over of his response. His lack of response irked Seungkwan. He got tired of no clarity from the taller boy.

“What’s your freaking problem Mingyu? I know we like each other. You have confessed and I have replied. So what do you expect from confessing? Please make your intention clear. I do understand where you come from and what your concerns are. But just so you know, your antics also hurt me. Don’t you think I feel hurt when you straight ignored me and act like you didn’t like me, moreover after you freaking confessed last night? I’m fine if you just want to confess and say you want no romantic relationship out of it or you want to date secretly or you just want to let your feeling known or whatever. But freaking please tell me that with your own words. I just need to fucking now where do I fucking stand so I can finally move on or whatever if you decide to not want me as your significant other or some shit. There are other people who’ll treat me better than your way of dealing with your crush. Heck, Seungcheol hyung who just an acquaintance of me that met me after who knows how long treat me better than you ever do. I bear with your nonsense acts because I like you and have hopes on our feelings being mutual, but if you decide to continue your insensitive ignorant acts, I can’t endure this anymore. Or does your confession just your attempt to play me? If that’s the case you fucking did a great job Kim Mingyu.”

Seungkwan blew up. He bared everything, he laid down all of his thoughts open just for Mingyu to know. He even cursed, you knew Seungkwan really mad when he cursed a lot in a single sentence. His words started strong before it finally wavered through the end. Without him realizing hot tears already streamed down his face. Those were angry tears. Seungkwan was fed up with Mingyu’s antics.

Seeing the tears, Mingyu panicked. He also felt something twisted on his stomach. Guilt crept up on him. Without him realizing, his insensitive acts, pride and dumb decisions hurt the person he cares about. He wanted to fix this. He knew that Seungkwan’s questions were valid and he was the one at fault. Seungkwan had bared everything for him. Thus, he should man up and speak honestly on his thoughts. Mingyu took a breath and finally poured out his heart.

“I… I.. I do like you, and yeah, in a romantic way. You are just beautiful and handsome and pretty and wonderful and gorgeous. Your smile brighten my day. You are warm and funny and smart and kind. You take care of your friends. You are confident in public and know how to act according the time and place. You can easily take charge and lead, like what you did in group projects. I really adore you. I really like you and dare I say I start to fall for you. I’m just.. I don’t know how to approach you. This is my first time feeling this for another boy. You know how our society is on male-male couple. I also feel the need to keep up my image and the society’s expectation of me, to be with a pretty girl not a pretty handsome boy like you.

I now realize I’ve been hurting you with my insensitive acts. Seeing you cry actually also hurts my heart. I’m really sorry, it’s not my intention. I.. I-I’m just bad at expressing myself. I wanted to talk to you but my words could not get out, they were stuck on my throat. I felt shy and fear that words that come out from my mouth would hurt you and scare you away. My friend said that I kinda did something like that several time when I was nervous or feeling too excited.

I do realize my faults now and if you still have the heart for it please forgive me. And if you still like me and want to accept me with all these faults, can you be my boyfriend? Though I still wish for us to date secretly. Dating publicly is just another step that I’m not ready for right now. If these fine with you.”

Seungkwan listened to Mingyu’s explanation patiently and didn’t interrupt at all. After all that was what he wanted. An explanation. The tears on his cheek already dried up by the time Mingyu finished talking. However, it was still clear that he just cried. His eyes were red and it was clear that he had the tear-stained cheeks.

Seungkwan tried to process everything he just heard. He didn’t immediately respond to Mingyu. He was thinking in silence. His suspicions on Mingyu’s concerns were proved true. But here Mingyu finally also said that he wanted to try this new relationship. They were both afraid and new to this, but both of them could try to learn together. Seungkwan would love to take this chance and explore the new world together with Mingyu.

Meanwhil,e Mingyu started to panic and overthink. Now he realized how Seungkwan felt when he straight up ignoring him. Mingyu started to go over his words, trying to analyze whether he said something offensive again.  He was startled when he almost fell due to additional weights he felt. Seungkwan just threw himself to Mingyu, hugging him tightly. He said something that went past Mingyu’s ear, especially because it was muffled by Mingyu’s shirt.

“Um what?” Mingyu asked again with his hands hang limply beside him, he didn’t know whether he could return the hug or not especially with Seungkwan’s backpack on the way.

Seungkwan finally looked up and stared straight to Mingyu’s eyes. “I said I would love to be your boyfriend and I’m fine with dating secretly, I also know how vicious the society can be.” Seungkwan tightened his hold on Mingyu’s waist. “I want to try this with you.” Seungkwan let out a soft hesitant smile that went straight to Mingyu’s heart.

Mingyu decided to not hold back and sneaked his arms around Seungkwan’s waist under the backpack, hugging him tight and burrowed his face on the younger’s neck.

Seungkwan in turned leaned on the taller boy’s chest, soaked up in the warm feeling. Today he just went through a rollercoaster of emotions. It drained him. He was feeling tired. Now he just wanted to go home to meet his other love, his bed.

“Mingyu, I am tired.” Seungkwan could feel Mingyu immediately tensed up hearing his words. It seemed he was still high-strung and sensitive with emotions. Seungkwan decided to rephrase his words.

“I mean, I am physically tired and drained. I just went through a rollercoaster of emotion today and now I want to curl up in my bed and sleep for 12 hours.”

“I’ll send you home,” Mingyu immediately piped up.

“It’s fine, you still leave your bag with your friends, and you haven’t properly said goodbye to them.”

“Okay I’m gonna call you tonight,”

“not tonight, I want to get my well-deserved sleep.”

“But..”

“Tomorrow is Saturday, you can come to my house after I get my 12-hours of sleep or we can hang out outside.”

“Humph, fine,” Mingyu pouted.

“Mingyu,”

“Hm?”

“Can you please let go of me? I wanna go home.” Instead of releasing Seungkwan, Mingyu tightened his hold.

“Mingyu, I’m serious.”

“But.. I just want to stay like this for a few moments” Mingyu got sulky and more clingy like a big puppy he was.

“We can continue cuddling tomorrow”

“…I also want it now”

“Remember? We are still in public?” The hug got tighter instead, making Seungkwan flinched. Seungkwan let out a sigh. He suddenly got an idea of words to say. He hoped this would work.

“Fine you can hug me all you want now, but tomorrow I’m just going to hang out with others. Perhaps I’ll accept Seungcheol hyung’s challenge tomorrow instead of spending it with you.” Mingyu immediately looked at Seungkwan in disbelief.

“No, you can’t.”

“I can, but I won’t. Just let me go home for now and I promise I’ll spend a whole day with you tomorrow.”

“Promise?”

Seungkwan nodded. “Promise.” Mingyu tighten his hold one more time and tried to absorb all Seungkwan’s warm one last time, before finally letting go.

Few minutes into this relationship, Mingyu acts turned 180 degree. He became the clingy one instead. But Seungkwan still preferred this than his cold acts toward him. Seungkwan felt giddy just thinking of what others side of Mingyu he could see later on. But that’s the thought for tomorrow. Now he just needed his rest.

                                                               

                               

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, this was supposed to be a short one-shot. I don't know how this turned out to be 6k long fic.  
> I'm sorry if I bored you with this and if there were some inconsistencies in this fic.
> 
> Leave a bunch of comments please, I love to hear your thoughts.  
> Feel free to talk to me in twitter @svtblanket or curiouscat if you want to talk anonymously.
> 
> Oh btw can someone please tell me how to insert link in the end notes instead of in the body of the story?  
> Thank you


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